If you need to ask, you'll never know, but if you know, you need only to ask.
Ugh, it’s grad party season. This means going places to see people and food. Not fun for someone with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder. Fuck.
Had a fever today, but don’t worry, it didn’t stop me from drinking alone.
It’s okay though, I threw up the calories.
I lingered in the mirror too long…
it’s that feeling you get when you’re so sickened with yourself you could throw up.
even though you haven’t eaten in a day.
you just want to throw up everything inside of you.
I haven’t eaten over 600 calories in a month, and i burn 200-600 a day through running/rowing/p90X. I don’t feel crazy tired anymore though, and I’ve gotten used to the dizziness.
I guess I’ll have to lower the limit and up the exercise.
I just want this to kill me.
we were talking about our rotations in the hospital and this ensued:
Friend 1: “Yea, I don’t think anyone enjoys throwing up”
2: “well except bulimics”
me: *shocked/awkward face*
1: “no, I don’t think they enjoy it either”
Guess which one i wanted to hug (and which I wanted to punch)?
I genuinely feel better when I don’t eat.